Jane Straus's words of wisdom have launched her as a bestselling author, a well respected relationship expert/life coach and a popular go-to-girl as a media guest on a long list of syndicated radio, national television and print publications including CNN, ABC, NBC, USA Today and The Business News. 

Jane was kind enough to pop onto The Global Townhall to offer us all some advice on dealing with family life in a bad economy, handling political debates with family and friends and offers more information about her life and books... not only is Jane a life coach but she is also a grammar expert.

GABRIELLE REILLY:  What advice would you offer for families that have to cut back on day to day activities/treats that they had become accustomed to before this bad economy?

JANE STRAUS:  The situation only becomes worse when parents keep secrets about issues that impact the entire family. Kids know something is going on and it makes them more frightened not to know exactly what. But I find that parents are often embarrassed and ashamed to have to deny their children something because of financial hardship, particularly when these activities/treats were part of the family's former lifestyle. I recommend that parents talk to their kids openly, not just about their current financial situation, but about their feelings. Instead of trying to shield children from what will undoubtedly happen again to them as adults, ask children for their moral support. Use it as an opportunity to pull together. Give kids an opportunity to come up with alternate cheap or free activities.

GABRIELLE REILLY:  What thoughts could you offer couples who may be experiencing strained relations over finances?

JANE STRAUS:  Financial strain may be a flash point but it is rarely the spark of relationship difficulties. I work with couples to use this as an opportunity to heal the cracks in their foundation. If you are in a relationship where you are fighting about limited resources, ask yourself: When did I really start to feel this resentment? What was I sweeping under the rug before? What do we really need to work on together?

It could be intimacy, communication, or trust that are the true weak spots. If so, don't blame it all on the economy or you'll blame your way out of a relationship that might have been salvageable. Open up a conversation by asking your partner to answer the same questions posed above. If there was ever a time to start talking vulnerably and openly, this is it!

GABRIELLE REILLY:  What words of wisdom do you have for people involved with all the hatred that surrounds politics and what impact it has on, not only their own lives, but on the relationships they have with family and friends?

JANE STRAUS:  When we discuss politics, we tend to start from polarized positions. However, if we remember two important things, we can perhaps change the dynamics of even the most impassioned conversation. First, realize that for every decision--right/wrong, good/bad, wise/foolish--there are unintended consequences that could not have been predicted. In other words, every solution creates new challenges and sometimes new disasters. If we remember this, it makes it a little harder to get totally righteous about our stances. One doesn't have to think very hard for a good example: The housing market meltdown wasn't just created by greedy bank lenders and Wall Street pirates. I know a lot of wonderful brokers who believed that everyone had a right to own a home. So they did everything to get people qualified for loans, including encouraging buyers to inflate their reported income, all with the assumption that real estate prices would continue to rise, therefore assuring equity. These brokers slept better at night thinking they had done a good deed, only to realize much too late that they had participated in pulling the rug out from under the most vulnerable members of our society.
Secondly, think about your own position on an issue. For example, if you believe that U.S. troops should stay in Iraq, is it because you want to help the Iraqi citizens have more safety or live in a more democratic society? Or is it that you fear the entire middle east bowing to the will of extremists? If your answer is the former, you will have to research a different set of questions than if your answer is the latter. If your concern is for Iraqi citizens, you have to ask if what we are doing is indeed making them safer and if so, at what cost. If you are more concerned about extremists taking over the middle east, then you need to research the potential for that. How many members are being recruited? Why are people drawn to extremism? Is what we are doing dealing with this cause? In other words, don't just take a position. Drill down to your real concerns and be willing to be adjust for your ignorance on a topic. Ask the other person open-ended questions about their position rather than "gotcha" questions to prove your own point. You can turn an argument into a thoughtful, provocative discussion that leaves you feeling more curious and open rather than angry and entrenched.

GABRIELLE REILLY:  What words of wisdom can you give Moms (I hope I just followed the possessive rule from your grammar book correctly) on how to juggle keeping a nice space for themselves and the demands of running a family?

JANE STRAUS:  I've had a child and I can honestly say that no words of wisdom would have helped when my daughter was an infant/toddler. I had to let go of focusing on having a nice space or at least redefine it: Instead of a nicely arranged living room = nice space, a safe room full of toys with no visible baby barf became the new definition of "nice." In other words, I lowered the bar. It didn't always work but it was a good reminder that standards need to be adjusted according to what life presents. Maybe moms can find one little corner to call their own--although I don't know how you keep a child away from there. Don't they always head right for where they shouldn't, like the open door or the exposed outlet?

GABRIELLE REILLY:  What drew you towards life-coaching?

JANE STRAUS:  This may be like asking an artist what drew them to their art. It just came with the territory of being me. I was born to it. And I always knew it. I did it before there was even a term "life coach."

GABRIELLE REILLY:  What did you hope to achieve in writing "Enough is Enough?"

JANE STRAUS:  I hoped that readers would be able to do what follows the colon in the title: Stop Enduring And Start Living Your Extraordinary Life. I gave a blueprint for this, using my clients' stories as well as my own, plus "Time Outs": simple but profound practices to move through your fears, let go of the baggage of self-judgments, and question the authority of any limiting beliefs. I think I actually accomplished what I set out to do if I can believe all the e-mails I receive. My other goal was to offer a deceptively simple read that invites and coaxes people to be more compassionate with themselves. I truly believe that self-compassion leads to peace. By the way, I wrote the book as a bargain with myself. I was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2003. It was time for an inventory. Did I have any regrets? I realized that I had one: I had not written the book because I had been afraid of rejection. So I made a pact with myself that if I made it through surgery, no more excuses. I think it's a more honest book because of this. I am not posing as a self-help guru, just another being who found a way through and is extending my hand to others.

GABRIELLE REILLY:  How did you manage to sell over 100, 000 copies of your grammar book "The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation: An Easy-to-Use Guide with Clear Rules, Real-World Examples, and Reproducible Quizzes"?

JANE STRAUS:  I had self-published the book for 21 years, taking it around to bookstores and selling it one by one on consignment. Then came the Internet. I decided in 1997 to put the entire contents of the book online, against the advice of everyone around me. Why? I believed that the Internet would prove to be the means of educating people all over the world who might never have access to books or funds for such luxuries. Remember, in 1997 there were no shopping carts, no Google, no Amazon. In other words, there was no e-commerce. But time and quality content made GrammarBook.com, the site where The Blue Book resides, rise to the top. In the last two years, I've added loads of fun, interactive quizzes and send out a weekly e-newsletter with tips and puzzles. It's the old "build it and they will come" philosophy. I sold the rights to the book last year to Wiley. To the publisher's credit, I have been allowed to keep all the content online. My belief is that if people know what they're going to get, they'll trust buying it online. This is especially true for teachers and trainers, who tend to buy in bulk. As you can tell, some of the decisions were based on personal beliefs rather than marketing strategies. I find that it's more enjoyable to get up in the morning and look in the mirror this way.